I have explained to my sister that reason no. 587 that this is not allowed to happen to her is that some perfectly nice well meaning person will come up to me and say 'But she's an angel now' and I will scream at them 'no she's not she's DEAD'. I'm usually pretty good at the forms of religion, I do believe in respecting others' beliefs and rituals, so I bow my head at grace and smile politely at religious sentiments. But my smile and nod response was pretty strained this weekend, because I don't think she's in a better place now, I don't think she's an angel, and if it's part of god's plan he's a fucker.
Flying back to Cali in a few hours, assuming I don't get sicker. I seem to have either caught something at the funeral or gotten food poisoning at the wake. It matches my mood.